What I did wrong??

Salam salam salam.

What I did wrong this time? I realized from previous semester until now I changed a lot. The changes that i made suppose to be from good to excellent. But it is vice versa. I read lots of books, I made lots of friends, i joined this and that and I scored in my subject. But somehow there are still things that I cannot achieve even doe I worked really hard on it. What should I do next?

The reason why I want to do lots of things just to show that I am capable in doing things and different from others. Of course the other reason is to gain experience. I already achieved so many things but I still feel very weak. I am so down and I feel like everything that i learned is useless. How should I cope with this matter?

Friends of mine said, acab try harder. Omg I tried everything, every strength that I have, I used it all until nothing left inside. My other friend said, I am super confident with myself and that is why I underestimate that matter. On second thought, yeahh I think I agreed with this fellow. I feel so regret due to my stupidity. It is very true that we can only do the planning but Allah decide it. I planned very well just to face you. But at the end, I failed by following my standard. I expect I can do better and even greater than ever. I always want to maintain at the top and don't want drown to the bottom. They said, life is a cycle,sometime you go up and sometime you go down. Serious guys, I am starting to get tired of everything. How to cope with this attitude? hermm

Now I am at bottom of the sea. Cooling myself with the blue cold water. hahaha
That is life, sometime things will never be as we expected.
If you cannot handle me at my worst time, you don't deserve me when I am at my best time. You really don't deserve it. Friends suppose to support each other by giving motivation and so on so force. You are one of my best friend and why the fish you make me feel very bad when I am really down instant of supporting me? 2 chances have been given, seriously if you do it again I will terminate you from my friend list? Who? You!! yes you. I will do the same thing to you, squeeze and push you down when the time you need me the most. By the time you realized I am avoiding you, It will be too late to ask for my forgiveness.